| Jumpin on the water wagon |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|11:34 pm] |
|
yeah about time again. Did not last too long last time. its for the best. It is prolly the #1 problem in my life. if I could think clearly for more than 3 days at a time i'd be alot farther. I know alot of friends supported me. And I KNOW alot of you want nothing to do with me now. But im pretty sure if I can actually do it this time and ACTUALLY try maybe you'll remember the old me. I know it will take a long time to regain your trust, all of yours but that is what im gonna do. Or imma end up where my dad is. worst than that i wont have any of the friends i have loved so dear for so long. to everyone i am sorry. I have been a fool. This is not my first apology. but i really hope it is gonna be my last. goodnight |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2008|01:31 pm] |
some people are givers and some people are takers. I dont think that the takers have need to be reasonable or rational.
That said and done, somebody please press stop and then press rewind, i would really like that.
: ( |
|
|
| dont know why I try |
[Dec. 1st, 2008|12:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home duh | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | destroy everything | ] |
If I became a 100% different person would it really matter. I think ill always have to worry and it will always be a fight. I think If I try my hardest my very honest to god hardest it would make no differece. I have never had anybody make me feel so good, and Ive never had anybody make me feel so god awful. When your ready to let go and have a one on one relationship with me let me know. Although I dont much like waiting around. |
|
|
| realized last night |
[Nov. 21st, 2008|12:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | kmk-can anybody hear me | ] |
i dont need anybody to be haopy. My aunt says im a great person. my cousin says I am a wonderful person. I just need to find a girl who is on the same page as me. which would be hard because im constantly flippin pages. I really thought you were the one. maybe you were, maybe nobody will ever make me happy again. I dont really care. I can be single unlike you I dont have to depend on somebody else. The sun is shining and its a brand new day. WOOT MOTHER FUCKIN WOOT! |
|
|
| a different kind of pain |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|05:47 pm] |
Before i let you go
Give me just one more night to show you
Just how i feel
I lost all my control
If it takes my whole damnned life i'll
Make this up to you
Im kinda like the waves that roll their whole life
Towards somewhere crashing it on the shore
Thats blown in by the wind that carries the clouds
To hide my wish on a fallen star
A differnt kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
Is someone there to take you away from me
I tried to let you go
I wish i could turn back time and show
You just how i feel
I needed you to know
If it takes my whole damned life i'll
Make this up to you
Before you let me go, i needed you to know |
|
|
| Suicide |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|05:35 pm] |
yes the easy way out.
crosses my mind frequently. Id do it if i wasnt so afraid of whats on the other side. mostly i dont even care about that.
I am mostly worried about that piece of dog shit tryin to raise my baby |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|04:57 pm] |
whenever i start to feel secure with myself like it might be ok. it blows up in my face,
you do things to intentionally hurt me. And you make huge decisions without thinkin. thanksgiving is next week. Im thankful you still talk to me. even though its killing me. Ive never been so depressed. you call it psycho. but i call it love. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2008|11:27 am] |
|
So I basically suck at life. But I know I wont forever. things have to turn over for me here soetime soon. Im gonna do something great and I know it. Every since I was little Ive always known id do something good in this world. I have everything it takes (minus the money) Basically sooner than later Imma come out on top shinin. and one of my biggest fears is that you wont be there with me. |
|
|
| LIFE |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|06:08 pm] |
I am happy with life, mostly. errr.....
I am thankful for my friends I have. I am glad to have a group again of all good people. Im not out gettin into trouble. I really love you guys. I am happy with hinkgs mostly. i need to go to school now im thinkin. my fines n shit are almost paid. A little more and we'll be outta the woods.
things are lookin up
I blame jesus...
good lookin out man |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2007|10:20 pm] |
i fogot this thing exsisted
whats it used for again
here update
im ogin to jail
im on house arrest now
period
peace |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|03:11 pm] |
i know nobody ever writes in this shit no more or evn reads it but hey. its for me not you
I am feeling very indesicive. confused. sometimes i think its best when we just dont talk cuz everytime we do i get those buterflys in my stomach again then when the phone gets hung up i just feel sick in the pit of my stomach. I fucking miss you so much and hate it so much. I know its over. but for some reason i cant manage the hought of leting go.
whatev.
repress it
pretend like I never loved you
thats not that hard
psh |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2007|04:09 am] |
fuck the fuck off
i feel good
except for my ankle and my back
i am broken |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|08:23 pm] |
So now I've made the decision
to walk behind you in the dark for the rest of my life
and I'll never show my face again
because it's too scarred and bloody to be enough
and I don't have the right stuff-
all I have are the empty boxes to carry away your heart
and I think that tonight I will sneak into your house
and I'll sing songs and wake you up
and I'll take you blindfolded dancing onto bridges
YOULL SAY YOU DONT WANNA BE WITH ME
'cause no one ever does and no one ever thinks of me that way
but I will even drive you home if you never let me forget about you
and if you promise me that I'm good enough for someone
'cause I've got to be good enough for you
and someday soon I'll get it right
and then you'll see just how good I can be
so don't ask me about forever
because right now I'm feeling lost
but there's got to be some place for me because if there isn't where will I go?
Will there be some place for me and will you be waiting there for me?
If and when we get there please catch me before I crawl all the way home
I won't stop until you do. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2007|01:48 am] |
does anyone even read this fucking thing?
does anybody fucking care?
I feel so alone in the world
things arent as they should be |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|03:40 pm] |
|
its so beautiful out. i am in love with my hair. good friends good drinks. fair time |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|06:14 pm] |
i hate everything about everyhting. i cant even listen to my cds while i sit alone. cu i have none. so much for being happy which i know i never will be lets just throw that idea outt he window. WHATS with people. fuck this american dream of wanting to be financially stable wife kids and a house n shit. i dont need it. i dont want it. but it is the only choice the worlld really gives you. so basically i want out.
if i never see you again know that i really did love you more than anything
i really wanted to be with you forever
withiout you forever is over and i dont wanna see tommorow
you were my everyhting and now i have nothing except tears on my pillow case |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|05:36 pm] |
It's too cold to sleep tonight
We could freeze to death I warn
It's so hard to want to fight
When you wish you were never born
This time you're gonna have to choose
You can stick with me, but you're gonna lose
it's the same thing that I hear
Ya can't go home and ya can't stay here
And I'd do anything it takes
I wish that I could change it all
But I'll drown in the pain of my mistakes
Cause when I'm done searching, you know I'm gonna fall
We'll get a bottle to keep us warm
A little fuckin' shelter from the wicked storm
it's the same thing that I hear
Ya can't go home and ya can't stay here |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|04:25 pm] |
|
waitin for beautiful to finish gettin ready. my aunt and uncle are gone this weekend so hit me up tongiht to chill 248 887 9482 |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
overachievingu's journal